Dealing with Office Bullies

From the time we were young we have all faced bullies in our lives and nobody likes the way a bully pushes people around and intimidates them. You would think that being a bully is something that one grows out of over time, but the reality is that many people, who were bullies when they were young, continue to bullies as adults. Bullies create a toxic environment wherever they go and if you work with one you may be vulnerable to their aggressive behaviors. This will cause you to experience more stress at work and it could keep you from advancing in your career if you do not learn how to deal with them.

Studies have shown that bullies are not really as tough as they act. Most bullies suffer from low self esteem and their hard outer core of aggression is actually a cover up for a weak inner core of insecurities. The reason they put up such a strong front is to deter people from seeing them for who they really are. Most people never confront bullies for fear of making them mad. This ability to intimidate people leads the bully to believe they can always get away with their destructive actions and they become even more aggressive towards those who shy away.

It is true that confronting a bully alone can lead you into a confrontation that you are not equipped to deal with, but there are ways to stop them. When you realize that your ability to perform well at work or to advance in your career is being inhibited by a bully, you will see the need to deal with the situation. You may not be able to put an end to their corrosive behavior, but you can take steps to keep them from bullying you. Here are some things you can begin doing today:

• Study your company’s policies and procedures manual to see if there is anything that addresses harassment in the workplace. If there is, you need to follow those guidelines.
• Begin to record your encounters with the bully. A paper trail record of their abuse will prove beneficial if you have to take your concerns to a supervisor.
• Do not engage in antagonistic behavior. A bully’s strength comes from being able to pull people into their anger field. It is best to ignore their antics and walk away.
• Keep yourself from getting into a confrontation where you may become a part of the problem and lose your ability to take your concerns to your supervisor.
• Continually remind yourself that this person is not going with you when you leave the company or advance in your corporation. Forward thinking will enable you to put the current irritating event into prospective.
• Do not engage in inner-office talk about the bully. Remember the people you work with may be friendly, but they are your co-workers and you need to erect boundaries with them. Engaging in gossip will back fire on you in the future.
• If you need to go to a supervisor about the bully’s behavior make sure you are in control of your emotions so you do not come across as weak and unable to cope with inner-office conflict. Have your evidence at hand and only speak about the facts of the circumstance.

Using these assertive techniques will enable you to deal with the bully without losing your cool and without jeopardizing your position at work. Your stress level will go down and you will feel more in control when you don’t let the bully in your environment control you.