Women Supervising Men - Benefits of Being Assertive at Work

If you are in a supervisory role at work and you have men in your department it is important to learn how to communicate with them. It is widely known that men and women communicate differently and a woman supervisor who understands this and works towards communicating more effectively will get better results from the men she supervises. If a woman does not learn how to communicate with men she will find herself frustrated, angry, and feel defeated in her supervisory position. This will cause her to carry her frustrations into her personal life because women have a difficult time letting things go once they leave the office, unlike their male counterparts.

Women tend to value the relationship aspect at work more than being in charge and being results driven. For a woman to be the most effective when supervising men she has to change this focus to a “pecking order” mindset. Men are at work for one reason and that reason is to advance in their career. They are not there to make friends, have their emotional needs met, or to socialize. They are goal oriented, success driven, and looking for ways to climb the corporate ladder. If a woman understands this and applies assertive techniques when communicating with them she will get the results she wants from the men in her department.

This is the same reason a coach can get a player to learn a new play but a wife has a difficult time getting her husband to put the toilet seat down. The man on the team knows if they implement the new plan of action their team has an opportunity to win the game, which also means personal success, and a possibility for advancement later in his career if he continues to listen to his coach and perform well. The “pecking order” has been established with the rewards for his adherence and respect being outlined by the coach, so the man will naturally listen and perform well.

This is how a woman has to approach the men she supervises. She has to have a game plan, be willing to give the orders in an assertive way, and show them the benefit if they listen and perform. Men want challenges they can overcome, tasks they can complete, problems they can fix, and goals they can accomplish. If you try to take the equality and friendship approach with men you will lose their respect and your department will suffer as a result.

If a woman doesn’t learn to do these things the men will not listen to her, they may look for a male supervisor for direction, and may even begin to give her orders. So it is very important for the woman to take the lead in her supervisory position if she wants to see positive results from the men on her team.

The way to accomplish this is to become assertive. Being assertive does not mean being aggressive. Women who are aggressive get labeled as “the dragon lady” or “witch” by the men she supervises. The men react to her the same way they react to the “mousy” woman. Being an assertive woman means you own your role as an authority, know the company policies and procedures so you can refer to them if your employees do not comply, and you use your supervisor or HR department as a support, not a crutch. You are in control of your emotions and you learn how to use an authoritative tone when you speak.

These things may not come natural because as a woman your brain is wired as a nurturer and an encourager. So it may be necessary for you to read books, take classes, or hire a professional coach to help you learn how to become more assertive. I understand that this takes time and effort but the benefit of doing it far out ways the time it takes to do it. If this seems like an overwhelming task it is important to remember that you are already spending a lot of time and energy at work, and away from work, trying to handle your frustrations. So the truth is you have the time it is just a matter of how you are going to use it. What you need to do is to learn how to shift your mental focus to something that will bring positive results in the workplace rather than the negative results you are getting now.

If you do this you will find you will become more positive, creative, and focused. You will also experience less stress both in your professional and personal life. You will gain the respect of both the employees and the management. It will also give you more opportunities to advance in your career because your supervisor will see the increase in the productivity in your department.